Guide to the Strip Clubs of Vancouver
* Remember in Twin Peaks how the guys are usually ducking out across the border to go to that large Canadian brothel? Vancouver is a variety of like the city-version of that place: A near-enough respite from the asinine prudishness of the Northwest U.S.’s… Our exotic dancers are close to you and ready to entertain.
* Remember in Twin Peaks how the guys are continually ducking out across the border to go to that massive Canadian brothel? Vancouver is a form of like the city-version of that place: A near-enough respite from the asinine prudishness of the Northwest U.S.’s diverse strip-club ordinances and regulations. The gals off the whole lot here, the drinks are alcoholic, and no one has to continue to be ten ft away from anyone else if they do not favor to (though don’t take this as license to be an utter idiot and touch one of the dancers, that is unless you choose to walk down some stairs with your face).
* Unless you are carrying tits, most locations are going to charge you a small cover, and as soon as you are in, you’re anticipated to purchase drinks, identical as anywhere. We’ve got six precise locations now, now not counting the ones out in suburbia. There used to be extra, but the bikers just preserve fucking it up for everybody.
* THE CECIL (1336 Granville St.) At the mouth of the Granville strip, the Cecil is our city’s welcome mat to the Downtown vicinity (their sign, boasting the “hotsy of the week,” is the first factor you see coming off the Granville Bridge). It’s the only peeler joint in town that employs dude waiters, and surly ones to boot. Must be a union or something. At night, anticipate being hounded mercilessly via the VIP-room girls. During the daytime, it’s an excellent location for a crappy burger with a facet of the vagina.
* THE PENTHOUSE (1019 Seymour St.) Vancouver’s reply to the Bada Bing, with a ripe household record (old man Philliponi obtained whacked in his very own office upstairs). Close to all the bars downtown, and consequently perfect for a rapid nipple if you are barhopping.
* BRANDI’S (595 Hornby St. fifth Floor) Vancouver’s “high class” strip joint; made classy with the aid of being run by means of a woman; made famous by way of that complete Ben Affleck fiasco. (If you do not examine tabloids, a dancer supposedly went the “extra mile” for him in the returned room then took it to the papers; yaaaawwwn.) They metal-detector wand you and pat you down on the way in, ship you up in a high-security elevator and make you check your phone cellphone at the coating test like you’re about to meet the president’s titties or something. Once you’ve made it in and located a seat (the front row is free while getting a table costs money, which is kind of weird) the girls will rapidly seduce you away from your pockets via the common methods. Expect an awesome stage exhibit from the dancers, possibly even some acrobatics, and a memento keychain or poster if you are a proper boy.